February 3, 2016

The rules according to a toddler

Posted in Uncategorized at 6:56 pm by Chris

Even if I’ve never shown any sign of caring at about it at all, at any time in the past up and including five minutes ago, the issue that I’m currently upset about IS the most important thing in my entire life, ever, and I will die of grief right here on the floor if it is not resolved immediately.

No matter how much care and patience I displayed in putting these objects together, or maneuvering them into their current position, I will display almost none in taking them apart or returning them to where they were originally. Breakages incurred are not my problem.

I cannot possibly pass through that portal without pushing it all the way open first. Even if it’s already open wide enough for two of me and it takes all my strength to move it.

That small person in the mirror is possibly the most beautiful and interesting thing in the whole world, and you cannot expect me to pay attention to anything else while they are visible. Nor should you attempt to move me along.

A toddler is never late, nor is he early. He gets out of bed exactly when he means to.


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